Blacked-Out.

2008-06-04T00:11:00.001+08:00

I SHALL START BLOGGING HERE TOO.

I'm tired of the way it feels.

2007-04-13T11:51:00.000+08:00

MOVED.

http://nixacouture.livejournal.com

2007-03-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

2007-03-30T02:13:00.000+08:00

I think i know that my search is over.
We both know that this is what we want.
It seems so right.
I hope it'll remain right.
It better still be right in time to come.
I don't want anything to change.
Not now, not anytime soon.
We both know how to treat each other now.
So nothing can go wrong, right?
But let's take it slow, baby.
It's not that we'd get bored of each other.
I just want us to savour every moment together.

xoxo,

December'06
http://www.fuckingsideways.blogspot.com

2007-03-27T18:32:00.000+08:00

Situations get complexed.
Sometimes wanting to LEAVE.

It's just a passing phase which I can't seem to leave behind me.
My mind's unweaving.
Your subtleties, they EFFING strangle me.
I'm holding on, hanging in there.
Feelings here, still strong.

I've been dying to reach you.

2007-03-16T08:48:00.001+08:00

First things first, I haven't updated this journal for like EONS. Life's been pretty much fine, I guess. Stepping into another phase of life, it's exciting but scary. but well, reality is here. I did badly for Os, I'm that DUMB. ha. I'm like actually posted to ITE COLLEGE EAST ? right, I've put it in a very nice way uh. haha, I've got accountancy ;) I've always wanted to do it but in a tertiary institute. ENOUGH SAID ! ha, so I've been like working & all. It's quite FUN lah, I enjoy working with PRUDENTIAL. And liane, I'm not action okay. Nonsense! So yesterday was steamboat with the girlies (: I sure had hell of fun. Not the last part, seriously. Shit happens lah, tskstsk. Okay, that's abt it. like I'll update again, soon. Goodbye Readers !

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain T
he walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this eveningI give the final blow.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know.

It EFFING ends TONIGHT.

Love hurts.

2006-12-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

I want to keep you still,
bt I keep losing my mind.
You got me thinking abt you all the time,
being away from you for too long
is giving me insecurities.

I don't even wanna care, actually.
Bt my mind is hazy.
Fuckit, I called today.
To hear you on the line, it's so hard.
We're like worlds apart,
I'm here and you're there.
Lost in our own world.
I bet you don't even give a damn.
Screw this feelings big time.
Like I told you,

PASSION KILLS ME BIG TIME.

Nice (:

2006-12-20T17:28:00.000+08:00

It's been exactly twenty days I'm here. I'm counting my days already. Prolly another 11 days, I'll be back in singapore. I'm speaking as if I'm like very faraway from my homeland. Actually, I'm only 12 hours away from singapore. haha. The past few days have been car and motor rides.
& I so love the chendol here. It's freaking AWESOME man. YUM ! And so, I'm suppose to go for a haircut today bt I didn't go. I'm too lazy move my ass once I'm online. I watched movies on the star movies channel here. Baywatch, Shall we dance and Coach Carter. I love Coach Carter !! It's FANTABULOUS. And so, I'm going to the theme park here later at night. Uhhuh, I wanna take the thrilling rides. Someone hopes that I fly out of some fast ride. Haha, Dream okay. I'm not skinny like you to fly off. HAHA. Oh, and I have like three ulcers in my mouth. The day I stepped here, from flu to cough to sore throat to maigraine to cramps which I can die from to ulcers. Now, tell me why should I still stay here ? I love my cousins here lah, they're like gifts from heaven. And so, My parents are coming here on the 29th. Hurr. My novels are lying at home. I told all members of my family to return them to the nearest library. But looking at their level of responsibility, nobody returned them. Unneccessarily, I have to pay fine for my overdued books. TskTsk ): Alright 'nuff said, I'm off now. Goodbye readers !

2006-12-16T03:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY, GRISELDA !

Yesterday.

2006-12-14T17:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Significant Other,

I want to tell you abt so many things. I think of you everywhere I go here. In the car, going long distances, I wished you were near. My mind is hazy, I reminisce. And thinking back, I keep wanting you. I'm here and you, there. This suck, I want HOME.

My days draw long and weary when you're no longer near. Confidence is filled with questions, strength replaced with fear. The assuredness I awake with each day is nowhere to be found as though my dreams and aspirations were buried underground. I hear your voice being carried away by the wind like your fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and remember your kiss and wish that you were there so with nothing left but one thing to say to resolve my heartbreak here, ~~goodbye~~ my angel dear.

=/

2006-12-13T16:03:00.000+08:00

At seventeen, the smallest things becomes the biggest crisis.

Today, I miss you.
I think about all the things we did together.
Wondering what happen to us.
What went wrong with me ?
They say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

And till today, I'm holding on to you.
Passion kills us.

Bt you've changed your direction.
Nevertheless, you're still the one.
Break away, realise who you are.

xoxo.

2006-12-12T16:43:00.000+08:00

I want to go HOME.

I miss you too,
Liane.

9th monthsary.

2006-12-07T15:21:00.000+08:00

I'd be holding on for sure
but I ~~doubt~~ it'd be forever
you said it's alright to be afraid
keeping you in my mind keeps that smile constant
and I swear through it all I'd be keeping you, if you would too.
I'll take you way beyond the moon
cause I know you've been much too fulfilling and it only burns to fear
It'd all fray away merely a couple of weeks
and you've given me ample memories to last through light years
I say how am i ever able to loosen that grasp on your wrist
hearts in soul's out.
Its been 9 months since the last you've came
and changed the mundane
Keep me sane cause baby, it's only YOU & ME.

Nine months.

another day.

2006-12-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

BOREDOM.

Sometimes I wish she was you.

My love.

2006-12-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

Ain't another woman that can take your spot my-

If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do?)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular (tell me, would you?)
Well, baby I've been around the world
But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you)
This ring here represents my heart
But there's just one thing I need from you (say "I do")

[Chorus:]
Yeah, because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the countryside
Sitting on the grass, laying side by side
You could be my baby, let me make you my lady Girl,
you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothing crazy
See, all I want you to do is be my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
Ain't another woman that can take your spot,
my love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)
My love (So don't give away)

Ain't another woman that can take your spot,
my love Ooooh, girl My love

My love Now, if I wrote you a love note
And made you smile with every word I wrote (what would you do?)
Would that make you want to change your scene
And wanna be the one on my team (tell
Cause girl I've never been more sure (that baby, it's you)
This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you've been waiting for (just say "I do")

[T.I.'s rap:] Allright it's time to get it JT
Shorty, cool as a fan
On the new once again
But, still has fan from Peru to Japan
Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan
If you got a man, try to lose him if you can
Cause the girls worldwide throw their hands up high
When they wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy (Trust me)
You don't really wanna let the chance go by
'cause you ain't been seen wit a man so fly
Baby friends so fly i can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine
T.I. they call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation
so you can't deny I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try
You don't come, I ain't gonna die
Hold up, what you mean, you can't go why?
Me and you boyfriend we ain't no tie
You say you wanna kick it when I ain't so high
Well, baby it's obvious that I ain't your guy
Ain't gon' lie, I feel your space
But forget your face, I swear I will
St. Barths, same bullet, anywhere
I chill Just bring wit me a pair, I will

[Chorus:]
I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the countryside
Sitting on the grass, laying side by side
You could be my baby,
let me make you my lady Girl,
you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothing crazy
See, all I want you to do is be my love (Love)
My love (Love)
My love (Love)
Ain't another woman that can take your spot,
my love (Love)
My love (Love)
My love (Love)
Ain't another woman that can take your spot,
my love Ooooh, girl My love My love

Screwed.

2006-12-04T10:33:00.000+08:00

FUCK, IT'S COMPLICATED.

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you.

2006-11-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

hey, I can't sleep. I keep thinking and thinking. One more chance os all i meed to make it right. I promise I'd do it all right this time. Maybe I'm not good enough for you. but i promise i'll keep you safe like a princess. I'll live just to be ur slave. If only you'd give our LOVE another chance with all ur heart, would you ? We're over but it all seems like a dream to me. Oh my, i swear you're the LOVE of my life. I never really did tell you but I had plans for us in time to come. You shattered all my dreams.

With nothing left to do.

Leaving me to bleed.

2006-11-27T11:27:00.000+08:00

Say it like you mean it.

Hi.
I miss you.
I'm trying not to, but I do. I miss you.
I want to talk to you about something. I'm scared to do it, but
I met a girl.
I don't know her really, I've hardly spoken to her, and I don't
know if anything will happen with her, but she's the first
person to make me feel anything since you left me.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know what to do.
If you were here, this wouldn't be happening.
I wish you were here.
I wish you hadn't left me.
I hate you for it.
But I'll forgive you, if you forgive me.
I love you, and will always love you, but I want to see her.
Forgive me.

My Friend, Leonard
James Frey.

complicated.

2006-11-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it's so much better to stay away from HOME.
It's so dreadful.
I need to get away from all these.
Sometimes, it's hard to understand.
Escaping, crying dosen't solve anything.
I'm trying so hard to keep me going.
But it's difficult.

You stole my heart.

LOVE.

2006-11-18T22:04:00.000+08:00

I'm drunk on your love.
Today was FANTABULOUS.

:D

2006-11-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY,

SHERMAIN DARLING !

A new day (:
Hope it gets better.

lyrics.

2006-11-16T15:14:00.000+08:00

The All American Rejects ;
11:11 PM (CST)

All the windows,
Swear to miss you,
And the doors are cell block tight,
Sweet sedation,
Sweep the issues,
And the clocks about to strike
Did it call you down,
Are you back just yet,
Waiting now please come set me free,
And the only sound is a minute left.

This could be, this could be the last time

It's a chance to fix mistakes,
One more for the last time,
Does it blow our dreams away,
Don't waste this chance with your smile
10 seconds left on this dial,
This could be the last time.

Along the staircase,
I dream to hear you,
In a whisper quiet room,
Space for thinking,
Space to scream to,
But the echoes sound like you,
Not the stars at night,
In a pitch black sky,
I don't know just wants to see you
But the time is right and it only flies

This could be, this could be the last time

It's only us, It's only now,
A simple wish, It's so late tonight.
This could be the last time,
Now I've made our last mistake

BETRAYAL.

2006-11-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

GUILT,
BETRAYAL,
UNFAITHFUL,
UNLOVING.

I'm sorry.

My love for you is insatiable.

Os.

2006-11-01T11:18:00.000+08:00

And so, this year is different. We do our papers in the auditorium. ha. We don't have to sit in that damn hall with poor ventiliation and get distracted by the humidity. Haha. Today was BIO. Oh, right. I am quite satisfied with the paper for the first time. Ha. It was manageable man. I thought it'll be really hard. Let's see for chemistry, difficult ? I hope not. Yes, wishing & hoping does not work. Studying really really hard, helps alot ALOT. heh. And now, back to the OC. I've been watching it till I've come to the last disc of season two. I'm gonna watch it today and I'm moving on to season three. I know I'm damn slow but nevermind. It's worth watching. ha. So I had her at my place ytd. We had to be caught by my sister ? Like EFF man. Right, she didn't say anything though. Besides we wasn't even doing anything that is suspicious. I bet she was really having symptoms of fever. Bt no, only flu okay. Stop acting so sick okay, ass ? ha. Tonight, I've got plans. hurr, I'm gonna study till late and then sleep in the morning. Prolly, I'll end up looking like a ZOMBIE. Marissa and Ryan are back together (: Bt summer and seth are on the rocks. Right, It's always the case. I think summer's pretty. More like adorable, huh ? Ryan is like the bomb lah. I heart him, man. Alright now, OC time. BYE !

HAPPY SEVENTEETH BIRTHDAY, PURSEY BOO ! :D

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though
goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i'm okay
It's hard to force that smile when
I see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that
I saved in my heart that i left unspoken

Selamat Hari Raya !

2006-10-24T20:58:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm feeling really tired & sleepy.

You close the door in front of me,
I wait patiently outside
But as the minutes tick away
I feel the anger rise
Who's the object of this rage, who's not being fair
Is it you for your indifference or me for just standing there

I could brag on things I've done or the places I have been
But I never found a cure for on the outside looking in
Sometimes it's hard to understand, they say that pride's a sin
Should I go or should I stay on the outside looking in ?

Uhuh.

2006-10-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

One more week left to Os.
One week.
Seven days.
One week.
Seven days.

Hopes, Chances.

What Am I suppose to say ?

2006-10-22T14:14:00.000+08:00

And so, yesterday night was bad. I slept at four ? heh. I was on the line with her till three or three plus. Oh, it was bad. DON'T ASK. & I didn't get to watch the OC yesterday cause apparently someone took over the television. Damnit lah, okay. I woke up today, feeling nostalgic. Thinking abt ytd, it's so asdfghjkl. pfft. I was not exactly glad that I got a missed call from her but definitely I miss you. When I tried to call back, her mobile was off-ed. heh. I couldn't watch episodes 5-8 cause the DVD does not want to play. hur. So I skipped to Episode 9 ? ha. Ryan & Marissa are like together. YAY. Seth should just with Anna ? ha. I think she's like sull of style lah. I mean Anna. Okay, enough about the OC. It's AWESOME.

This year has been great. With sorrows, happiness, new changes and the list goes on. It is a whole different year for me. I settled down with a relationship which I believe can bring us far. What the future holds, it's in our hands. It's so depressing when you get older and realise things are not as easy as they seem or use to be. This is my biggest fear. And it's all about that girl, that girl with that pretty eyes & awesome dimples. I close my eyes and wander back to childhood, running around with no worries/fears. My friends and I there stood laughing & giggling with happy tears. Asking permission to spend the night. Everything seemed quite alright. Opening my eyes, I face reality now. & then I cry looking around & seeing before me the things that make me die inside. Wondering what happen to the old days that seemed to fly right by.

Please, I'm sorry.

OC !

2006-10-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

(edit)
Today is a depressing day cause I had to break fast alone at home. Cause apparently everyone was out and I was left alone again. It's damn sad okay. I studied BIO ? Though I couldn't register all the information but It was was still worth my time. I couldn't resist tempatations but I had to watch the OC. Cause my sister has all the seasons of the OC lying on her table. It's just so tempting lah. And yes, dudes. I am starting it all over from season one. I think Marissa is so pretty and ryan is like so sweet. hurr. And luke can just go suck dicks okay. Damn him. Seth is like adorable too. And I know, summer & him will work out one day. heh. I am gonna watch the second part later when everyone is not awake. I'm gonna be a ZOMBIE today. I've got to study too. I've got many distractions bt let me rest my mind for awhile okay ? ha. Oh, and then she just called me. I'm happy to hear her, actually. And she called to check on me ? hmpf. I am tongue-tied and I better be. hur. Okay now, back to the OC ! Goodnight, world (:

Did you ever love me ?

This is how you remind me.

2006-10-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

Confessions of a broken heart.

Yesterday was TORTURING.
I've made plenty of hearts to bleed.
I ruined it, I screwed it up big time.
Felt apologies.
I am left with nothing to do
to make all these seem better.
I've lost that one thing I tried to hold on forever.
I'm broken but I'm hoping.
With these emotions, I am stucked.
And the more, I try to feel the less I'm whole.
All alone on the edge of seventeen.

2006-10-20T11:23:00.000+08:00

Underoath ;
Some will seek forgiveness, others escape.

I heard a voice through the dischord of a deluge of passers-by.
I saw one gaze frozen in time watching me passing by.
I swear I'll know your face in the crowd,
and I'll hear your voice so loud when you're whispering

Hey unfaithful I will teach you to be stronger, to be stronger.
Hey ungraceful I will teach you to fogive one another.
Here's my kiss to betray desperate to brush the lips of grace.
Do you feel hollow when you think of how I've lied?

Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning
wrap your loving arms around me.
Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning
wrap your loving arms around me.

Hey unfaithful I will teach you to be stronger, to be stronger.
Hey ungraceful I will teach you to forgive one another.
Hey unfaithful I will teach you to be stronger, to be stronger.

Hey unloving,

I will love you
I will love you
I will love you.

Obituary.

2006-10-17T02:28:00.000+08:00

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

<3

2006-10-17T01:47:00.000+08:00

The hardest part.

This ________ is so hard to keep.
Promises, Compromises, Trust, Believe.
It was never seen as a mistake.
After all these while, I am glad to have you.
Sometimes wanting me to ~~~~leave~~,~~
sometimes wanting to stay.
Situations get complexed.
Stepping in another shoe,
wondering how I'll turn out.

For If love has left its imprint here
Then so have I.

now, look what you've done.

2006-10-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

(edit)
take a moment, hear my woes.
And so now, I sit here feeling better.
Much better.

The light in your eyes keeps fading out
The night's falling deeper in the heart
Hiding the truth and crashing down
My baby's a dancer in the dark
Run to your boy, don't conceal your scars
Run to your boy, let him feel your love
Before it's too late

Complicated.

2006-10-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

Right from the time I touched home from school till now, I'm crying.
This needed to happen at this point in time.
I love you all the same right from the start.
We'd love, not fake.

& sorry for being random here.
I am still thinking whether to absent from school tmr.
This flu is killing me.
I feel the temperature rising.
And yet, this all has to happen today.
Break down, baby.
This heart is yours to keep.

♥ xoxo.

faded.

2006-10-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

Collapse.

Conversations are quiet.
It's like you've been away for too long.
What went wrong ?
The hardest part.
I want to breakdown.
I hope you're still here &
I awesomely miss you.

maybe not now, maybe never, but you have been the remedy
keep our xoxo(s) constant like your tattoos.
And I'm tired of being all alone,
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
unsure, insecure ;
nobody said it wasnt okay, nobody said it'd be easy.

2006-10-09T16:07:00.000+08:00

The way I do.

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Your touch, your skin,
can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight,
I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one

Now look at what you've done
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you

Never thought I could love you the way I do.
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you The way I do
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you The way I do
I love you I need you I want you, the way I do

Inconsequential,
xoxo.

2006-10-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

Credits to Ash.

Awesome BABY !

2006-10-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

heh. Down to Bishan Library to study with Ashie baby ! :D hurrr, I did only like four questions & I got distracted. haha. She's was being super sweet today. heh (: Oh, and I saw that Diana. It was so hilarious lah. haha. Ash was being an irritant by shouting my damn name from some corner of the library. Oh man, I tell you. Which part of S I L E N T don't you understand ? heh. & then she was feeling hungry and she did a good deed today. SHE MADE ME BREAK FAST OKAY ! well done, ash. I felt so guilty okay. damnit. I've never done this before okay. hurrrr. Back to the library, we talked, talked & talked. Haha. And so, she kept insisting to give diana a ring and ask her to come & study with us both. heh. Diana's friend was there too. So when they came, I couldn't keep my gap shut. I just kept on talking but apparently those three ignored me. Pfft ): But I am sure I entertained them :D haha. & soon, it was farewell (:

I MISS HER LAH.

LOVE.

2006-10-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy Seventh Monthsary, Ashie baby ! :D

Love in London ♥

2006-10-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

Shanye Ward; No Promises.

Hey baby, when we are together,
doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away,
baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms.

I don't want to run away,
I want to stay forever, thru time & time.
No promises
I don't wanna run away,
I don't wanna be alone
No Promises

Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away,
baby you're the one I need tonight,
Here tonight.

Awesome.

2006-10-04T20:51:00.000+08:00

Today is LOVE.

Mabel, Liane, Krystl, Mary, Natasha, Jaryne, Samantha, Novelyn, Yingmin, Jiarui & Shermain. Thanks a MILLION for that AWESOME gift. You guys are great (: Really, I owe everything to you ladies (: AWESOME BABY ! And to those who made this day possible in one way or another, thanks a million for all the birthday wishes. I really appreciate all of them sincerely. My dearest friends, you all are GREAT.

♥
And i want to thank you, too for keeping constant all these while. You have given me alot of courage and I'm ready to let you know that you've touched my heart. There's just too many I'd like to tell you but now is never the right time. Someday I'll learn to need you. Being scared as you said, isn't wrong at all. Even if all were to fail, I'm glad to have you.

hooray.

2006-10-03T18:34:00.000+08:00

School was AWESOME.

Liane, Mabel, Sam & Me.
You can hear the calling.
there's only room for four.
no hassle, we'd give and take, we'd love, not fake.

Hey unloving, I'll love you and I'll love you.

2006-09-28T17:48:00.000+08:00

♥ Pretty words, Beautiful Lies.

The past few days have been tiring and sleepy. Four weeks away from the major exams are not very far. The dream of going to a JC has been all shattered lah. I can't make it man. But still, I am not giving up. Pfft. & today is gonna be the last day of tuition. Damnit. I need to practice on my own alr. Hur, I really want to do well okay. I need to get through this, It's hard but we don't have a choice. This has been my biggest worry. Mental stamina, I need the strength to go on. How I wish, this was all over & I do not have to deal with it anymore.

So adamant, she is. I am wasting my time on trivial complications of the heart and mind. I really would appreciate if you live up to your school's motto "Women of Integrity". The truth is obvious & her ego is just so big that she can't be honest. What's wrong with you and what were you thinking ? I wished it was me I believed in. I wish I wasn't so naive. I wish I knew what to say or do but I don't. Probably you would. Bonds that break, loved ones fade. I hope the miles find a bridge. Why does the heart bleed & why am I so tongue-tied ?
I am letting inconsequential things plaque my thoughts.

xoxo,
Nish.

flabbergasted.

2006-09-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

I cannot take this anymore. I am losing the strength to go on for another month. Endurance is all it takes & I so don't have it. I am so tired lah, my eyes are so tired too. & today is such a FANTABULOUS day. Hur, damnit lah. I was feeling irritated, annoyed for no particular reason. Apparently, I think I am going through Pre-menstrual Syndrome. Pffft ): I hate to see my tamil results. It's out & I failed my paper two ? DAMN DAMN DAMN. I am so irritated with myself ! hur. Probably I should bite my wrist like what liane did to vent her frustrations. Arghh. The feeling sucks okay. I can't even do well for my second language. Whatever lah, so annoying. I am doing everything that I should not be doing. Tsk. Monday falls, fasting starts. It's so quick, It feels like I just did it when it was like last year. Sometimes, it's so difficult to make it a point to be faithful to my own religion. It's good in a way, the fats that are multiplying my stomach can at least loosen up a little. heh. And now, If I continue typing. I'll start being crappy. GOODBYE.

2006-09-20T20:58:00.000+08:00

Oh man, she's HOT.
Her name is Fazilla Mohanan.
I keep looking at this picture with my eyes wide open.
Her SMILE makes my day okay.
HOT MATERIAL (:

2006-09-20T13:03:00.000+08:00

And so, this marks the end of prelims. There's still so much to do for Os with so little time. Tsk. And here, I'm wasting my time by being online. Ash is being such a irritant now, such a pest you know I tell you. Hurhur. I just uploaded the graduation photos to my friendster. I've got really few pictures now. I can't be bothered lah. heh. & I've got this stupid DOOFUS face expression whenever I am captured in the camera. Damnit. DOOFUS. I am pretty sure to get 30 over points for prelims. Apparently, even the ITE(s) wouldn't want me. This is so DEMORALISING. Pfft ): I am so tired right now but I am still online spending my time so wisely NOT. I need to rest my eyes man. My table is so MESSY. It's piled up with books and papers. I need to clean it soon.

I am back after taking a nap, I just woke up. And I still want to go back to me beautiful sleep. Haha, I am such a PIG lah. Oh, we both fall asleep on the phone with each other ? How lame can we get. Cause I didn't want to end the conversation. Haha. Alright, I'll come back later. Farewell (:

:D

2006-09-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

Please don't let this turn into something
it's not I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong
The last girl in the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss in your first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final seconds you ever learned to me was love

We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
~~And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes~~

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

xoxo.

Demoralising.

2006-09-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

okay, 2 more days for prelims to be over. The O levels are drawing nearer & nearer. With six more weeks to go & we'll all be on our own. It's darn sad lah. Alright, speaking about today. It was F&N. Prelims are really DEMORALISING. ): Damnin lah. Last minute studying really sucks & I seriously lack mental stamina. I can't do papers which are TWO hours long. Hur, I hate prelims lah. -.- Oh, I've got a advance birthday gift from my pretty sexy AWESOME jane ! (: She's so funny yet so sweet. Heh, love you lah JANE :D A shirt that says "I MAY NOT BE PERFECT BUT SOME PARTS OF ME ARE PRETTY AWESOME". hahaha! okay, now my dear classmates. you should know what are the some parts of me are PRETTY AWESOME. Alright, I'm so crappy now. Yesterday I was so broken but today everything seemed alright even though they're NOT. Right now, I need to go and study for accounts. It's two hours long too, ):

Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh.

There's nothing like you & I.

2006-09-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

Lies that needed to be uncovered.
downright broken.

F.

2006-09-13T14:43:00.000+08:00

To start of with, Nisha and I would like to wish Jane a
Happy Birhday.

Anyways, Nisha has locked her laptop away and is being so mean so me, being so nice and kind, will help her update her blog, whenever I can.

Today, we had SS which was alright, if the topics yuou studied came out. If not, good luck cause you'll need it.
Yesterday, Nisha had MT but I forgot to ask her how it went. And after that we had Accounts which was quite okay. Oh, and Nisha likes the new Giordano lycra tops. She likes the green one and the brown one and basically most of the colours. Plus, her birthday is coming. (: *hint hint*

Anyways, I'd like to tell Nisha that, I love my Sexy Indian the most-est. More than her *ahem* fling ever will.

Love, Hot Chindian. (:

Hope.

2006-08-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

Hurhur, I'm back again. And so, they decided not to go for Council Farewell. So I didn't go too. School was alright. I was alone during tamil again. He praised my Compo. He was like it is a well written compo. Haha. I got 36/50 which I think can be better. I'm starting to do all his work now cause I really wanna get better grades. Haha. And so, geog was boring NOT. Double chem was alright lah, he was in a frustrated mood. Pfft ): Recess with MABEL :D Muffins from samantha, so delicious okay. YUM ! Haha. Photographs with the japanese girls. I think that girl is pretty too, haha. So mabel, you think you very hot lah. You won the hearts of all races. It's nothing great lah. Hahaha! Maths was fun ! Played Bingo with Rachel & Sharon. I won okay. SS was wasted away cause Mr Tan apparently didn't come to school. Cam whored, Cam whored. Watched the inter class debates during assembly. 3C deserve to won lah. That indian girl speaks so well and fluently okay. And then, started talking about how smart indians are. Haha.
And, the motion of today's debates was "THE HOUSE BELIEVES THAT THE PAST IS BETTER THAN THE PRESENT".

Chinese=Doctors
Indians=Lawyers
Malays=Hawker Centres

Okay, that is what the great, LIANE LOPEZ concluded. I agree in a way with the malays one. Haha. Not insulting but sometimes truth hurts lah. Hurhur.

I have been thinking, thinking, thinking.
All this while, it's been all the same.
It's always you & her.
I seem to be nonchalent
I have tolerated enough.
It's too much for me to take
But I'll still be tolerant
So many things bothering me
I don't want them to take over me

Just a lie.

Screw you.

2006-08-22T17:38:00.000+08:00

So I am here again after a long while. Things have been going fine in school. Today was hilarious with Jaryne & Liane. They're damnit funny ! Hahahaha. Speaking about school, I have been been a loner in tamil class for two days lah. He didn't come to school today and that lady took me. Hah, I think she's quite nice but ANNOYING. Haha. For the first time, I finished a well-written compo when the first period ended. I feel proud of myself okay. And I love my handwriting, seriously. It's so neat :D Okay, I am crappy today. Oh, and I am not taking 855 to school anymore. Like, in the morning I walk all the way to the mrt station and then board the 195 bus. I think I reach school earlier than usual. Prelim practicals on thursday, damn. I haven't studied. Pfft ): Steamboat on saturday ! Probably I will go, I don't know. If I don't make it, then Mabel would kill me. Haha.

CONFESSION:

I LOVE MY MABELINA CHEAH ! :D :D :D

Never the same again.

asdfghjkl.

2006-08-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

Deceived Emotions.

Yet another day, in school. The weather is COLD. It's a heavy downpour. Damn. Such a good weather to throw yourself into bed and cover yourself with the comforter. Haha. Oh, and I wonder whether she went to school. Tired-ness is not an excuse to skip school okay. Haha. Morever, I am like more tired than you lah. Haha. If she hadn't gone to school, she would be sleeping like a PIG now. Hurrr, Whatever. I have to survive another three more periods of lessons till school ends. Pfft ): SS, POA & Math. I would definitely fall asleep, I know. My brain cells are not working anymore, I don't have the mental strength to carry on already lah. TSK. But endurance. ENDURE. I have still not decided whether I want to see her after school. I am still deciding. Hurhur. I'll see what mood I'll be in when school ends. Haha. Okay, I'll update later. BYE !

xoxo.

Broken Mixtape.

2006-08-14T16:27:00.000+08:00

So few come and don't go.

I haven't been here in a long while. My internet is down at home for the time being. Tsk. So I am in school using the damn computer. Better in a way, I guess ? I will be able to be more focused. My prelims are nearing. PARANOID. The days come and go with just a flicker of a finger. Pfft. So much that I do not want to retake Tamil O level, I need to retake. TSK. C6 is not me lah, haha. Things are back to where I started off with. My eyes hurt. I am emotionally defeated. Everything hurts me, the things I see. The things she do, it all come to a point where it will hit me so hard. I am vulnerable, so be it. I don't know where did I go wrong.

If you call me today, I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie, you knew what you had
You still walked away
Leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep & ~~Meaningless.~~

I AM BROKEN.
I LOVE YOU LIKE HOW I'VE ALWAYS.

GOODBYE.

2006-08-09T15:12:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE.

GONE FOR GOOD.

It's all said and done but it won't take away my love.
Gone going.

Mahal kita, ♥♥♥

Heavy heart.

2006-08-07T22:43:00.001+08:00

Yet another month has passed, it's the 5th month.
Happy 5th, sweets (:

Each time I am about to see you, I get butterflies in my stomach.

EMO
EMO
EMO
EMO
EMO.

Mascara bleeds a blackened tear.
I did love you with my heart.
My heart is heavy.

I<3her
I<3her
I<3her
I<3her
I<3her.

CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

2006-08-05T16:18:00.000+08:00

DAMN YOU.

asdfghjkl, feelings mixed.
I drift away in my emotions while reminiscing.

Torn Apart.

2006-08-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

Tell me, you're never gonna walk away.

When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say
I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone
I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

Here, I am again.

2006-08-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

& together, we see it coming.

I am not suppose to go online or update my blog during the weekdays bt temptations are hard to resist. Haha. Nothing much lah, today. I was in a sleepy mood for chemistry. I wasn't paying attention, I couldn't think straight. Whatever lah. Haiyah ! Oh, and during recess I got my hair tied. I LOOKED LIKE A PRIMARY SCHOOL KID LAH ! Most of them said my hair sucks. And yes, my dear yingmin had to add in by saying that I look like a MONGOLIA KID. HAHAHA ! Hilarious man, I tell you. Haha. And then, corissa dared me to go and meet the girlfriend with that hair. asdfghjklmnh. And I know, I will definitely get negative remarks so I was prepared. As much as I thought, I got negative remarks. Anyway, I cannot care less because I liked my hair today. I think I was so cute, uber adorable lah. Okay, fine. I will stop talking about myself. Okay then, tuition was boring /: I yawned so many times okay. Hurhur, there's double chem tomorrow. YAY ! Mother Tongue is first period, pffft ): I haven't completed the letter writing to the prisoners. Oh man, Shucks. I am not planning to complete it anyway. Haha. I RECEIVED A LETTER FROM MY DEAREST FRIEND, CHRISTINA ! And now, she knows I am in love, I AM IN LOVE. <3

My head is going bonkers.
I need to know what she needs
to speak to me about later.
Confessions ?
I am paranoid.
Is it about you feeling for another ?
Breaking free ?
If only you knew, how much I feel for you.
F.

STOP & REWIND.

2006-08-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

My monday & tuesday with her.

My feet, my head, my eyes. They hurt.
Random feelings, random thoughts.

I can't help but to notice in the bedroom something's changed. There's a picture on the dresser that's gone missing from the frame. I could ask you but you'd answer in that same familiar way. That there's nothing wrong, and everything's okay. How you gonna say you're never gonna leave me lonely? How you gonna say you're never gonna walk away? Knowing that you'd break me if you ever say goodbye, So you keep on telling me that everything will be alright, And it's a beautiful lie. You, falling back into the rhythm. I could never forget you. On my fingertips, hurts so good, can't go on like this. Here comes another sunrise, like a broken promise in the skies, It's about to be a different day but you keep on living that same old lie.

More than that.

2006-07-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

Yet another day with the girlfriend. Okay, the train ride down to kallang was so weird. Practically everyone was staring at me cause I was eating the candy she gave me. The candy kept getting stuck in between my teeth. It was funny in a way, bt I didn't laugh. Cause the commuters will think that I am crazy. Met her at that SPH building, and then off to serangoon central for food :D I think I took so many bus rides today okay, Pfft ): I like it anyway. Haha. Ate at Mac's. She takes uber long to finish a burger okay. TskTsk. Small Kid, that's why. Hahaha. I am not trying to say I am a very grown-up girl though there's only one yr difference between us. Bt still, you're damn small lah. Haha. She went to upsize my meal and not hers ! Idiot you know. Okay lah, I am a fatty lah. If it makes you happy :D Alright then, meal over. Back to that SPH building, her sister happily went back home with her cousin. ALAMAK. The crazy one(ash) got so pissed okay. I am afraid when she gets damn pissed lah. She pulled my hair all okay, it hurt bt then I still laughed. It was downright hilarious. Haha. It's funny how the way she gets pissed at trivial matters. Anyhows, I still love her. And then, another bus ride back to aljunied. We couldn't decide where to go so I suggested Punggol Beach ? Haha. Another bus ride, yet again. We walked till the end. We passed by these three malay young men who were fishing on a saturday evening. Yupyup, and they caught a STINGRAY ! It was actually quite gross, bt yeah it's for consumption. I've ate it before, DUH. And then, one of them was like it has got a baby. Haa, I think it was funny. The way he said it, haha. Okay then, sat at some rocks or whatever you call that.

Ear plugs on, watched the waves as they come in, watch the night fall and stare at the stars hand in hand. All that made me happy. I love the way we are now, with no worries and no cares. I never thought this will be the kind of love I would share with you. Your happiness, my happiness. I miss you, Sweet love.
I will love you more than that, I won't say those words, then take them back. Don't give loneliness a chance. Baby, listen to me when I say "I will love you more than that". There's not a day that passes by. I don't wonder why we haven't tried. It's not too late to change your mind. So take my hand, don't say goodbye. ♥

DISENGAGE.

2006-07-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

I've been singing the BEST DENKI nowadays. I think I make people laugh out of a broken hearts. Hahaha! I think it's downright hilarious too. I just blend in words which sound japanese and then I just sing whatever that comes to my mind. Furthermore, being TONE DEAF is the funny part. Haha. I sang to her on the phone this morning, and she laughed too. :D School was okay. Double chem was good, did the potassium dichromate VI experiment. He asked us to add one drop of universal indicator bt me being the annoying one added four drops. And, guess what ? My colour turn out so nice okay, it was red ! :D I LIKE okay. Math is getting really boring, I try to keep my eyes awake cause I am falling asleep all the time. Assembly was lefnjknencoijife ! We had briefing for the graduation photo taking. Okay, Xinni scribbled all over my SS notes okay. That butch is so crazy. Haha, ask me what I like and I'll answer "I LIKE PUSSYS !" (WITH EXPRESSIONS ON MY FACE). Hahaha! Sasha fingers are so midget okay. Haha, No offence eh. Like short and fatty bom bom ! She was pulling the hair from my knees, they all are so amazed at my hairy legs. Damnit lah, now everyone will know that I get turned on easily cause I AM GODDAMNIT HAIRY ! Hahaha. There's a saying like "HAIRY PEOPLE ARE HORNY PEOPLE ?!". And yes, SS mock was bad. Really bad, pffft ): I did the twelve mark question and not the thirteen marks one. Like I was blank in my head cause obviously I didn't study. Bt somehow, I feel guilty. TRIPPLE GUILTY ): It's a friday, so the usuals. HabboHotel is so not for me. Haha, It's so horny-fied okay. TskTsk. We saw this really adorable little kid at kovan station. He's so CUTE okay. His name is RAHUL. I swear, i love kids lah. GERAM! :D :D And I saw another one inside the train, his name is SHAM. I know their names cause when I see adorable kids like them, I SHUT UP NOT. So I will be like "What's your name?"- In that ACT SWEET voice. Okay, Now I am off. BYE, BLOG READERS !

2006-07-26T21:16:00.000+08:00

I AM TIRED MENTALLY.

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
As the cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
That put my friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
What's wrong with this picture?

Farewell the ashtray girl
Forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world
Watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores
To broken centre floor
We know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes it's faded
Disintegrated
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's faded
Assassinated
For fear of growing old

DAMNIT.

2006-07-24T23:14:00.000+08:00

My last four days were spent with her including today. Haha, bt still I can't get enough of her. Today was a damn tiring day. Oh man, the NEL was out of order. And so, I had to take that stupid bus all the way to sengkang to meet her. The bus ride was so draggy and the bus was super crowded. All so eager to board the bus lah, singaporeans are so annoying okay. TSK ): I sat beside this BIG-SIZED OLD MAN. Okay, he fall asleep on the bus. But ah, his head kept on falling onto my shoulders okay. I felt like making his damn head straight lah. Pffft ): I met her soon, down to her crib. Her sister ah, like to pinch my FATTY FATS at my stomach area. It's so ticklish okay, so funny laaaa. I screamed and screeched so loud. Oh, and I cried for something, I stood there like a small kid and cried. And she can still laugh and kept on repeating the same old words. "Omg, so adorable, so cute". WTH laaaa ? TskTsk. There's a new maid over at her place, haha. SHE OPENED THE ROOM DOOR WHILE WE WERE LYING DOWN ! Damnit, We were shcoked. Thanks ah, ash. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT IS SO IMPORTANT. Hahaha. I had to hurry for tuition soon, my ez link was stucked somewhere around the house. She helped me in the finding of it, thanks ah. And then, I read that long note. Hahaha. I READ IT ! So sweet of her. Thinking of me all, not bad ah. Tuition ended so late, I made it home at ten. Gave her a ring, spoke for a while. And she said this "Bye, Pretty Girl". That was so not her, but yeah she said it. Enough about today, Goodnight :D

I DREAD COMING HOME.

To ease the pain,
I had to stained it red
I won't do it again, I hope I won't.

2006-07-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

Along the way.

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
Cos even when I fall asleep,
you stay with me, You stay with me.

Stuck inside a broken frame,
Watching as seasons change,
Hoping time will finally set me free,
Suddenly, you're standing there,
A crowded street, a lonely stare,
A thousand miles of traffic in between.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
From the moment that I leave,
you stay with me, You stay with me.

Every letter that you wrote stays with me,
And every promise that I broke, stays with me,
And everything that's left inside, stays with me, It stays with me.

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

F.

2006-07-23T12:53:00.000+08:00

The end of the road, so near.

The feelings that I hide.
Trapped inside are lies of the past I can't replace.
Memories that linger won't seem to go away.

EFF.

Damnit.

2006-07-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

So I haven't been in here for awhile. Life's been pretty much the same old routine. I will only be coming online on the weekends cause of distractions. Oh, friday was a day well spent with the girlfriend. At night, we headed down to punggol beach. Hand in hand, we walked looking at PRETTY PRETTY stars thinking about PRETTY PRETTY things. (: Our lips met, I loved the way she tasted, I love the way we speak with our eyes with silence. I loved everything about friday, it was a wonderful evening. Okay, now back to today. I went to watch the musical alone lah. And so, the auditorium was so empty. The musical's so good. Sheila acting as the grandmother was so funny, hahahaha! Her voice and all the accent blending in and all, downright hilarious lah. Hahaha! But her scting skills, power lah. My feet was so painful okay. I walked with pain in my feet for the whole day lah. Damnit. The musical ended soon. After that, I walked around alone till about six. Okay, I know I am such a loner, bt yeah. Went back to the HDB HUB, get dressed in ethnic costume. Guess what, the sales were bad ! Omg, I only managed to sell like two t-shirts and three programme booklets ): ): I was walking around, running here and there. And I swear my feet was killing me. I think I have blisters already. Haha. Many couldn't get in on the first attempt. Pffft ): LIANE AS WELL AS SAM WERE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS LAH ! HOT CHINDIAN & HOT MALAYALEE ! And so, I was standing near the esclator waiting for some generous soul to purchase the t-shirts, I SAW ASH ! OMG, I TELL YOU ! I WAS SHOCKED LAH, seriously. I ran away from her for awhile. And then, when I wanted to find her. She was nowhere to be found, yupyup. So I just went back there and I found new friends. Hahaha! Soon, all were going in. Musical started, I sneaked in for awhile to say hello to random people. Oh, and the first person I saw was G. I said hello and moved away from there. I turned to the exit and I go out. I tried to look for her bt she was nowhere. Haha. And so, I went back to the reception area. Played nonsense games, spoke and laugh with my new friends. Later, during the interval. I went in again, it was full house okay. The auditorium was so lkjwdqojiohnfecibncjd! Oh, I introduce both of them to each other. Yeah, I was happy. :D I was numb after that, my legs were shaking when I was standing around liane's seat. That feeling was terrible, I felt everything acting up again. I told myself, I cannot go back. I can't turn back in time, I will not and I never will. Cause at the end of the day, the one I love is ASH ! :D Sweetheart, I love you. I left the place soon, fetched my cute girl(her sister), walked aimlessly finding for the damn bus stop. My feet is like aching so bad, I tell you I wanna FAINT. Hahaha! I made it home before twelve. Goodnight, World.

It's a saturday and I am in love with ash.
She's my obsession (:
I love her, I love her.
Your kisses never lied.
I miss you, pretty baby.

MY SISTER'S BEING BITCHY ! DAMN HER !

The OC!

2006-07-16T15:21:00.000+08:00

It's a BORING sunday. My parents are out, I don't know where they went. Bt I heard my mom saying that she's going to the airport. Probably, I was dreaming cause I was still asleep. Haha, okay my sister has not been coming home lately. It has been five days since I saw her lah. Tsk ): And my stomach cramps are killing me softly cause it's the first day of my period. Pfft ): I have to suffer for another three to four days. Oh, I watched the OC just now on star world. It's the end of season one. Haha. I think the OC song is nice. Maybe I'm amazed or Baby, I'm amazed. I don't know lah but it's really good. Yupyup. My mom is being such an irritant now. So annoying. I haven't been answering her questions lately. I cannot be bothered lah, I am such a letdown. I am on the line with her now. Bye Blog readers !

BAYBEATS !

2006-07-15T21:44:00.001+08:00

HOHO, BAYBEATS WAS SO FUN !

And how I wished that pretty girl could have been with us ytd. Oh wells, Esplanade was filled with so many malays okay. Malays being so pretty and good-looking, I saw alot of them. Haha. With my people, everything went oh-so well. I loved my company. LOVE ME BUTCH'S MUSIC IS GOOD, DAMN GOOD LAH. And yes, I left early. This means that I missed POPTART. Pfft ): Touched home at twelve. My eyes were half dead, so tired okay. Showered, threw myself on the bed with ear plugs. Haha. On a saturday morning, I woke up feeling lethargic still. Down to kovan to study with the girlfriend. Unfortunately, I couldn't study. I managed to only finish up some really simple sums. That's all for like five hours ? Okay, I better work on my concentration span. That girl is really hardworking. Haha, and her work is really neat and tidy. Okay, enough about that horny bitch. She can't control her temptations for nuts. Goddamnit. Please learn how to behave infront of your sisters lah, Tsk. I am currently stucked to Lips of an angel. Oh, the song's really good. And now, I'm waiting to hear her on the line so that I can go to bed with a peaceful mind. :D

F.

I gave you my heart and so much more.
I've loved you all the same.
Love me like you used to.
I never wanna say goodbye.

If only you could see the tears.

2006-07-14T18:01:00.000+08:00

If you knew how much THIS meant to me.

I am broken, we are broken.
Like strangers, we walk pass each other NOW.
Can't you see, it hurts ?
You are taking it further with you know who.
You choose your feelings over us.
It's hard to be mad at you, pretty girl.
No regrets, later on.
Miss you, Mabes.

2006-07-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

I miss you, Miss Cheah.

You watch as we leave.
Cause we ended it with a heartbreak.
I lost you, a great friend you were.
It's hard to be angry when somethings are true.
I missed you so bad.
Goodnight, go.

A heartbreak.

2006-07-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

I woke up in the morning realising that I have not done my tamil compo. I don't know how I ended up on my bed sleeping. The next thing I know that it's morning. Pfft ): And the laptop was on for the entire night. The least my sister could do is to off it, but no. Inconsiderate, ): Oh wells, school was LOVE today. I kept thinking about her, I couldn't erase that image of her hand from my mind. It keeps rewinding the name that's carve on that wrist. It's hard to accept, It slowly is driving me insane. It played back so many time lah, pffft ): I can't seem to get my heart over it. Driving me up the walls, Tsk. Okay, Bio was practicals yet again. Bt in a way, it's better cause time passes very quickly. (: PE was useful, I vent my anger/emotions by running. We did skipping too. Hahaha. It helped, I felt much better. At least I hoped my other half of the day in school would be happier, but... Nevermind. Alright, Math classes for 5NA is gonna be all mixed up with effect from monday. And so, I've got Mrs Fung ? Okay, Monotone. Accounts and then school was out. It ended with a heartbreak, Unhappiness. I might forgive, Let's just wait and see. Eff everything, for now.

Just hear me out
If it's not perfect I'll perfect it till my heart explodes
I highly doubt
I can make it through another of your episodes
Lashing out
One of the petty moves you pull before you lose control
You wear me out But it's all right now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up making out instead of misery
Beat down and bruised.

Random people.

2006-07-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

And so, this is what happens when I remove my password from my blog. Now you people know why, I put password. Yupyup. And so, random people with negative remarks. What do I say about them ? I have made them built so much hatred for me ? Actually, I don't even remember provoking anyone or passing negative remarks about random people. Like, whtever lah. I am not pissed exactly, bt disappointed. Pffft ): Eff the remarks lah. I am not gonna care, my friends will reply for me. Thanks for the tags, friends (:

Dearest (smiles),
Haha, thank you for your comment. (: All the praises belongs to GOD.

Dearest Hater,
I don't know who you are or whtsoever. I don't want to know either. I shall get this straight to the point. You visit my blog, you leave negative remarks about me. FINE. But don't pull my girlfriend into this. You're against me, just diss me. Probably you should think before you give others negative remarks about themselves. Check the dictionary for the meaning of a SLUT. Then maybe your conscience will prick you if you had/have one. I am involved in a GGR, so be it. I am happy with what I'm doing now. It's my choice, it's my life. I would really hope you do not bother about me, whtever I'm doing and whoever I am involved with anymore. You don't have to be sorry. Try to define yourself, you won't know who you are. Don't try to control others. Let go and let them be. Maybe some self-reflection would be useful. You can lead a better life, I am sure. (:

):

2006-07-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

Don't turn away.

When it's all said and done, it gets hard but it won't take away my love.
I hope you'd stay. (:

Love.

2006-07-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Love.
Happy 4th, Sweetheart.

What a beautiful love.

2006-07-06T22:41:00.003+08:00

What a beautiful smile, can stay for a while.

What makes us happy and upset ? A whole list of things that makes me happy, I wrote down. Unhappiness fills in too, but I don't want to think about them. And so, reminiscing does not make me happy anymore. Hur, forget it. I am not gonna dwell on the unpleasant past anymore. (: Life can be such a burden at times, pfft ): And today's dark clouds was a test for all of us. It looked like the world was coming to an end. School was out, finally. People and their unhappiness.

Samantha,
I hope everything's gonna be alright ? Don't worry too much (: Let her know abt your feelings. She's sensible to enough to be a listening ear. Cheer up :D

Claudia,
It has been long since I spoke to you. We all are here for you especially at this moment when you're going through so much. Remember, you're never alone. Life will be better for you soon, have faith. (:

♥

If saying sorry will help.

2006-07-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

Dearest Eleven,
You hoped I read your note for me. Yes, I read. Probably I jumped into conclusions too quickly. I thought you hated me and I still think you do. But nevermind, It's normal. I am not against you or whtsoever. Insecurities, I can't help them from occuring to me. You helped her alot, I know. Thanks a million, It has always been appreciated. I am just paranoid lah. The least I could do is to apologise. I am very sorry and I mean it. The hurt you are feeling now won't disappear overnight, bt still I am really sorry. (:

2006-07-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

She makes me smile :D

Screwed.

2006-07-04T18:43:00.000+08:00

A sucker, I am.
I feel fuked-up.
So many things running through my mind.
I cry at evrything that reminds me of you.
No one seems to care, not evem you.
I can't even rely on you.
~~Your ex girlfriend is so unfair.~~
~~She's so mean, she's so mean, she's so mean.~~
~~I became a laughing stock to her.~~
Am I too vulnerable ?
I told my heart, I didn't want you
But I lied.
I am still tolerant of everything
I am still tolerant.
I am holding on to everything still.
My feelings are here, still strong
My eyes are tired.
I crumble.
Thanks for ~~acted~~ like you cared
and making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
and letting me know we are ~~done.~~

(:

2006-07-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, I felt very much better after blogging just now. Oh wells, I spent my whole day crying my eyeballs out. My eyes still feels tired, pffft ): Understand me please, will you ? Gabriella from high school musical is so pretty. Drop dead gorgeous, I tell you. And I think Samantha Marie Cheong Shui Xian can be one of the girls acting in high school musical. Hahaha. I actually did a little of studying today. But I still need to catch up, Tsk ): Tmr is O level MT orals, I'm prepared NOT. I don't know how to handle conversations. Probably english words will blend in too. I just realised O level is a small step in life but it will bring you to greater heights in life. :D

This could be the start
of something new
It feels so right
to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new.

Breaking Free.

2006-07-03T12:50:00.000+08:00

I cried to sleep last night, I literally cried. It's tearing me apart and I've already fallen apart. It seems like it was my fault for loving you, it's my fault for getting hurt. It was all my fault. You don't seem to care, you do not care how I feel. Probably you care but you don't show it. All that matters to you is to attract other girls. I don't see the point in you doing this. You make me feel affected all the time and then it becomes my fault again. I can't always seem to call on you, wait for you, care for you, respect you, give in to you and tolerate all your nonsense. I knew all along I will feel the pain kicking in time and time again but I ignored that emotion and live a bloody facade. And this has to stop cause I can't take it anymore. You take me lightly, you so DO NOT take me seriously. I played the game by all the rules. You're dominant, so be it. You're possesive, so be it. Your vulgarities, so be it. Your hurt me physically, so be it. I tried to make you feel that this is not right and it's unbecoming of you, bt I failed once again. I tried to care, bt I felt tt I was taking control. Your pride was stronger than all these little things. You made me feel like a LOSER at times, nevermind I said. I am sadder but I am wiser too. You get lectures from your parents, it's my fault. I take all the blame, so be it. You always made me feel like a FUCKIN' SLUT, I gave my whole soul, body and mind to you. You never respected my dignity, NEVER.

2006-07-02T13:29:00.000+08:00

You're there by my side

In every way I know

that you would not forsake me

I give you my life

Would not think twice

Your love is all I need believe me

I may not say it quite as much as I should

When I say I love you darling

that means for good

So open up your heart and let me in

And I will love you 'til forever

Until death do us part we'll be together

So take my hand and hold on tight

And we'll get there

This I swear

I'm wondering how I ever got by

Without you in my life to guide me

Where ever I go the one thing that's true

Is everything I do, I do for you

I may not say it quite as much as I should

When I say I love you darling that means for good

So open up your heart and let me in

And I will love you 'til forever

Until death do us part we'll be together

So take my hand and hold on tight

And we'll get there

This I swear

So when ever you get there

Just reach out for me

I'll never let you down my love

And I will love you 'til forever

Until death do us part we'll be together

So take my hand and hold on tight

And we'll get there

This I swear

And I will love you 'til forever

Until death do us part we'll be together

So take my hand and hold on tight

And we'll get there

This I swear

GO PORTUGAL !

2006-07-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

PORTUGAL ALL THE

WAY ! :D :D :D

Baby,
All the best for your run later. Please Please don't carry on if you are really exhausted. Don't act like hero all okay. Haha. Anyhows, I miss you. I fucking miss you lah. TskTsk. Spend more time with me, please ? I feel rejected and neglected all the time. Don't tell me it's over cause I am not gonna let it happen. & I love you, I love you. 1217, hearts (: I need you to need me, I want you to want me.

A crying shame.

2006-06-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

You see the light die in my eyes.
Eff this day.

I'm vulnerable, I'm naive. My fault.
I CRUMBLE.
I CRUMBLE.
I CRUMBLE.

=/

2006-06-29T19:04:00.000+08:00

I fall asleep on the book ytd night. I was waiting for the girlfriend to finish her flashcards and stuff. Poor her, okay. She finished everything only at 2am. & I am so sorry, I wasn't of any help at all. ): Conversation ended at three and then goodnight, love. I have not talked to her since then. Hmmpf. It has been a long day for the girlfriend. I bet she's all letargic. Rest well, pretty baby (: Oh, and school is fucken funny. First two periods, english lesson. Comprehension passages about alcoholism and live coaching. They were both easy to undersatnd, how I wished 'O' level was like that. TskTsk. Math was alright. CME was boring okay, she keeps on saying like "It's really good to see you all back and It's such a relieve to see you all less sleepy and more livelier, I am really happy." She keeps on repeating okay. GRRRR ! And that made Liane, Sam & myself not awake. Annoying lah, she. Hahahah. My precious book is in a super bad condition. It has dog ears already lah, damnit. And so, I start to wonder how is "My Friend, Leonard" doing there. Fingers crossed. I hope it's in a good condition, still. Hahah. Mr sekaran has task for me to do AGAIN. It was hard finding for the express indian girls to see him. They're like scattered all over. Pffft ): Bio was FUN ! Practicals, I love lah. Seriously, time passes so quickly. & snails are disgusting. Okay, Yeast stinks. And we had to smell the solution that is mixed with yeast, glucose & a layer of oil. Gross, I tell you. =/ But still, practicals are uber interesting & fun. :D Honeyvan Macapugay, stop being so KAN CHIONG lah ! Haha, and honey missed me during the Hols. YAY ! Okay, enough. School ended at one fifteen today. Lunch-ed at tea gardens with Claudski Boo, Mabes & Sam. Hahaha, lunch was downright hilarious. Mabel & Sam kept on irritating each other in a super funny way. When they start speaking to each other, they just end up quarreling. (not seriously though). And then, I stuffed the nugget with barbeque sauce into mabel's mouth. Attempt failed. She dipped the same nugget into caramel syrup. Mine was not forced into my mouth but I took a bite. Hahahah! Then, we call it a day. I made it home, felt asleep on the couch. Like I slept for two and a half hour okay. Such a oxymoronic, I am. Now, homework time. I love you, I miss you much.

Liane, you're the best.
Mabel, you're the best.
Sam, you're the best.

Play, Laugh, Study.

2006-06-28T18:34:00.000+08:00

Play, Laugh, Study. School is all about this right now. Hahahah! And I think Nicolette Shankaran is so pretty. The prettiest indian girl I ever seen in my school. Give that girl three years, and a gorgeous young lady she will become. SO HOT, :D :D Probability is so much easier than I thought it was. Hahaha. We had to sprint for five rounds for PE today. It was very tiring. pffft ): Bt working out after so long is not a good thing, Everyone is gonna complain of muscle cramps tmr. Haha. & the class is going to be empty cause absentees will be MORE. Chemistry was great, I want to do more practicals. Chemistry is jst so amazing. Tell me about it man. Yupyup. Bio, she was not there. We spend our time doing straw hearts/stars. Thanks, EVELYN ! Promiscous is a song which will turn you/me/everyone on. HOT (: Buttons by PCD too. HOT HOT HOT ! hahaha. School was intriguing filled with delights. YAY. I'll update later, When I make it home from tuition. I love you, I miss you.

Miss lopez, Don't Care Anymore (:

I am affected, Eff off bitch.

2006-06-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

My baby has ulcer too, oh poor us ):
It was a perfect day with you.
I miss you, pretty baby ♥
I don't like her calling you. pfffft ):
I need to set my priorities right.
Msn-ing has to stop for a long while.
I want to watch that bollywood movie. Watch it with me, please ?
Now, I need to do my work.
Takecare, sweethearts.

I may not say it quite as much as I should When I say I love you darling that means for goodSo open up your heart and let me in And I will love you 'til forever Until death do us part we'll be together So take my hand and hold on tight And we'll get there This I swear

2006-06-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

Dear Significant other,
I hope everything goes well tomorrow.

Pretty baby, I miss you.
Pretty baby, I miss you.
Pretty baby, I miss you.
Pretty baby, I miss you.

Hilarious lah.

2006-06-26T19:54:00.000+08:00

I stay awke the whole of ytd night watching the two matches. ENGLAND's match was horrible, I swear. Wasted my time man, seriously. I think they disppointed their FANS. Hahahah! And Portugal's match was alright, but downright hilarious lah. I was super awake for the portugal's match lah. Christiano Ronaldo is an ACTION MAMA ! Act hot only lah, that guy. Ohh, bt I still got to sleep for 45 minutes. Before the match starts and ends. I slept on the couch. And so, as a result, I feel pain around my neck. Tsk. Furthermore, the right side of my lower lip is swollen lah. & It hurts. Goddamn it. It's still swollen okay. School was HILARIOUS, seriously with the people around me I can just go nuts. Haha. New vice principal and plenty of relieved teachers. So many lah. Miss Lopez looks HOT with shaped eyebrows, at least not a bushy one anymore. Hahahah! Okay, look who's talking. Ah, mine's not so bad. Geog was funny, Cam whored with Liane's. YAY. Munched on Novelyn's Nutella bread & I seem to enjoyed Liane's Chocolate banana cake ! I licked it okay. Hahahah! Ohh, it was delicious. (: YUM ! And I grew
1cm shorter and I weight the same. ): TskTsk. I ate watermelons for recess, healthy healthy. Ohh how I've missed MY MABEL. Okay, she's not mine. SAM'S PROPERTY. :D Mother tongue was alright lah, Orals on coming thursday. I must do well ! Hurhur. F&N was good cause she was not there. We just had to to the computer lab to type the eveluation part. Done, Yingmin and myself went out of school early. Touched home, showered, throw myself onto the bed and SHUT.

2006-06-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

And some realisation, I get sleepy when I am horny which is good in a way says Ash. I know why, So that she can take advantage of me. Hurhur, I won't allow. :D :D It was a sore loser game ytd, they played so roughly lah. Goodness ): Sweden's passing is like asfgertyubcngdh! We didn't get to make social plans ytd cause I couldn't us the phone. My mom ah, I don't know what to say lah. No doubt, I missed her. Furthermore, It was raining cats and dogs lah. TskTsk. It was a beautiful sleep bt still I yearned for thr girlfriend. Okay, School's like tomorrow. Hello, 5MaryMagdelene (: PREPARED NOT. I miss school, I miss the people around me, I miss Chemistry lessons. And there's F&N tmr. ALAMAK. ): Our tuition, her band practices, my O levels. Considering these important commitments, we can afford once a week to spend with each other ? I guess so, we'll see about it. I believe in the feelings we feel for each other that will still keep us going strong. Somehow, I am afraid. Will you fade away ?

Down to grandma's in the evening, The journey was long okay. And so, I seem to see random good-looking on the train. It's common, I know. Syazwani is a little brat. She's like so adorable and at the same time uber stubborn plus annoying. I brought her to the playground, she played in the swing for a long while and I had to swing her lah. Tsk ): Bt she entertains me with her endless talkings, just a mere three year old. Ohh, and she talks alot. ALOT. She was singing & singing songs that I am not familiar with. Hahahah! Hilarious lah. The playground was soon filled with kids. There are only two swings available lah. Another small kid wanted to play on the swing. But this fatty syazwani refused to get up from the swing. She's too pampered and stubborn lah. ALAMAK. ): I tried persuading her, it didn't work. And then, she got frustrated and she got up and pretended to be angry with me. Hahahah! She is so petty ! ): It was so hard for me to persuade her to go home, I had to give her so many excuses like I am tired and I am feeling warm. And so, we left. She makes me happy :D :D :D Small kids, I love ! Then, she watched barney. She's so smart lah, Whatever the kids were doing in the tv. She followed after them. So adorable okay. Eh, GERAM NYE BUDAK INI ! HAHAHAHAH ! Oh wells, I camwhored with the kid. Told her to do some funny actions and all, she's uber cute lah ! Oh man, I love her. (: And then, she was wearing the kiddy shades. Whtever lah, so vain. -_- Haha. Touched home. I spoke to the girlfriend over the phone :D She's another sweetheart close to my heart. I yearn to see her on tuesday ! BYE BLOG !

M I S S Y O U , H O O L I G A N. G I R L F R I E N D ♥

My Superfly Beauty Queen.

2006-06-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ash is such a sweetheart (: I love her, lah. Hahahah! Dhoby Ghaut in the morning, I waited for her like half an hour. She's always late lah, Whalao. So annoying. And so, Stupid ash came to meet me with flat hair. OMG. She looked exactly like a MAT TAPPERED lah. Downright hilarious ! She thought she looked fine, but no. Goddamnit. Then, down to tampines mall to catch a movie. SILENT HILL is a good movie, quite alright lah. I love to go movies with the girlfriend ! Halfway through, we got distracted. Cause I was feeling Cold, very cold. I regret wearing skirt lah. Hahahah! Ash is a Horny Freak, I swear. There were funny creatures shown in the movie okay. Like so gross lah, Disgusting liquid gusing out of the bodies. And more to that, the bodies look so sticky and gluey. Aiyer! Hahahah! What more can I do, Just find a spot in her arms and hide. And so, I was held captive her. This makes me all secured and safe. Thanks, baby ! I didn't really understand the ending part, yupyup. That's it, Pick up our bags and left. Ohh, the idols were there. We went over to take a look. She was so upset that nurul was not there. LAZY PIG, ASH MADE ME CARRY HER BAG OKAY. I seriously looked like a bloody lunatic lah, carrying my sling and her haversack. TskTsk. ): Okay, then we decided to get the cones from Mac's. I got the twist cone and she got choco cone. Downright hilarious lah, Hahahah! Her Ice-Cream was melting and all. It dripped and dripped okay. And then, she just had to smudge my face with her ice-cream. Whtever okay. Once was not enough for her, she did it thrice I think. Bloody hell, we were laughing our asses off. LOL. Super funny lah. Walked around for a while, headed to the interchange. Sixty Five, down to Dhoby ghaut. And yet again, the bus ride was long. With the girlfriend there, It will be indeed a Memorable one. Sleep soon overtook me, Head down on her shoulders. Eyes shut, Hair messed up. :D "My Friend, Leonard" was there to accompany her. Nearly for an hour, I slept. Sorry lah, Hun. (: Soon, Bid goodbye. Sayonara Sweetheart (: A Perfect day with you, I love you much <3.

And now, GO GERMANY !

2006-06-23T11:24:00.000+08:00

Fractures in the facade of your porcelain beauty* get on me nd show me that u mean it (: says:
We'll end it all here.

Could be your eyes, could be your smile, could be the way you freed your mind. Your precious touch caressed my soul, You gave me everything I need. And now, I am lost. I can't let you go, that's it. Wishful thinking on my part, I can't respect your decision.

2006-06-22T10:33:00.001+08:00

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

& I MISS YOU, TWELVE.

Self-Denial.

2006-06-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

Yet another day with you, It all seemed delirious in the beginning. I share my laughters and tears with you. Thanks, anyway. The things we do, The things you say. A happiness I found with you, I was happy the way we were. Upsetting it is, Tsk. I don't wanna say anymore, I don't want to rake up your past anymore. The bitterness I feel everytime we quarrel over trivial matters. I've tried bt I just can't understand what all the fuss is about. What can I say to make you stay and stop breaking free from me, I need you to see. Can you remember yesterdays, we used to smile without a care. It's killing me, ash. It's killing me. I need you to hear me out, I need you to be patient with me & most importantly I need you to control your temper. You see the light die in my eyes cause I am afraid to lose you. Now I am asking you, why is it always me who has to try to make things feel right ? I've always known the love you've shown means I'll never be alone. From the moment I looked into your eyes, all of my life I thought I'd be there by your side. I wish I'd took the time to find the words to say. You know when you smile, I feel at ease and we we will be together once again.

I love you, baby.
xoxo,
Nish.

A feeling only felt.

2006-06-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

Be proud of me, I cooked at home today. Mom is down with a high fever. Fishball soup today and It tastes great man. Hahahah! Okay, nvm. I am so sorry ! I was late by one and a half hour lah. The girlfriend waited, waited & waited. Then, down to her crib. Together we watched the movie "The Reunion". It's a damn bloody good movie lah. I cried terribly, I guess. Tears just keep rolling down my cheeks. The touch of her hands are to die for, I swear. And So, I was held captive next to her for the whole time. You change my world with just one kiss. The warmth of your smile, The heart of a child, That's deep inside leaves me purified (: Soon, sleep overtook me. I slept on her bed and there goes my thoughts. I thought about of alot of things which made me cry my hearts out. The way she shouted at the top of her voice from the other room hurt me so bad. Over-sensitive ? I don't know. Just affected. The girlfriend came, consoled. I did feel better but it was tearing me apart inside. Enough of crying, I slept for a while to put my mind at ease. I came to my senses and it was the happier side of me when I woke up. Ohh, we laughed together after that. Hahahah ! She has court shoes nd she wore it. It was downright hilarious, I swear. I laughed like nobody's business. :D Ignoring my emotions and putting on a fake front does not help anymore. Bt I will love her for as long as she wants me to. I have became someone whom I don't know. I am in love, that's it.

My head, spinning.

2006-06-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

This is what happened today. I drag myself out of bed, It's like I could not wake up cause my head was feeling heavy. I knew it was maigraine. My head was spinning inside. Ouch, I felt pain. I almost broke down in tears. I did not even feel like going for the DAMN orals lah. ): Showered, called my baby ! I miss that bitch so badly okay. Spoke/whine-ed to her nd cabbed down to school cause I thought I was LATE. Actually, I was on time. In my case, I was the first one to finish bt the last one to leave the hall. Tsk, I had to be the Time-Keeper lah. Wahlao, eh. Somemore, I forgot to bring "My Friend, Leonard". And so, this leaves me with nothing to do but to stone and watch the time goes by. I was falling asleep, the weather was like windy and all. Yupyup. I was being very like cannot-sit-in-one-place-for-too-long kind of thing. I realise that I need to move around somehow. Hurhur, okay. I was being crazy at the bus-stop while waiting for the girlfriend. I thought she was not gonna turn up. Being the "Smart" one, I boarded the second 855 which came. Down to serene center to meet skye, passed her the paper. She calls me SHORTY ! I think Skye is so funny, hurhur. Ohh, and that wannabe butch does not look like skye and vice-versa. Like seriously, EWWWWW. I am so grossed-out lah. Hahahah, I am so mean. Bt I don't care lah. Hahahah! So I left her and then took 153 down to ash's place. The bus ride is Soooooooo Dragggggyyyyyyyy. ): Long bus rides only with a novel or music. If not, no way. Ohh, and I did a good deed today. YAY, give me your compliments ! Hahahah ! There was this catholic high school boy who boarded the bus. High shorts, high bag, glasses bt looked intelligent. He alighted soon. I happen to just randomly look at his seat and saw some wallet lying there. And I quickly took the wallet, ran to the bus driver told him abt it. Fortuanately, the bus did not take off from the bus stop just yet. That boy had alr walked a distance, I ran shouting "AYEEEEE, BOYYYYY" repeatedly. And then, he was like "oh, thank you very much". Then I just ran back and hopped on the bus. I sat down and my head was FUCKING spinning and DAMN, It was giving me a sharp pain. Feeling faint, I closed my eyes and rest for a while. Soon, I alighted. Walked, Walked & walked. I saw the girlfriend and I was feeling guilty. Ohh, the girlfriend looked majorly HOT today. Actually, everyday lah. Hahahahah! Her head will burst if she's gonna read this. Ash, stupid ash. I love her, still. @ her crib, I was still having maigraine. Tsk ): I still made-out. Like whtever lah, Temptations. Tell me abt it man. Ash, you better stop hitting my head with your bolster ahh. It's painful and it's violent plus It's considered girlfriend-abuse. And so, I can sue you for this. STOP IT, BUTCH. Please don't be so mean, alright ? Hey baby, I love you :D

goddamnit. ):

2006-06-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

I could not sleep last night okay. My flu is acting up again and it's so annoying. TSK ! I keep sneezing and sneezing till I finish a whole new box of tissue paper. Wahlao eh. The flu was better when I popped in three tablets in the middle of the night. And then, I could sleep quite peacefully. Bt it was definitely a beautiful sleep not. Cherries blossoming & runny nose is not funny. Goddamnit. ): I wake up with a blocked nose, sneeze it all out. All bright yellowish substance. Gross man, Gross. Ohh, I was going through friendster and I saw pictures of the friend who has gone for good. What can I say ? =/

Now I really need to tell you that, I miss you very much. I didn't even talk to you properly lah today. & I am feeling so oiedwkljaiwqoqknxm. I need to speak to you, I need to tell you about my day, I need to tell you how much I miss you, I need to whine to you, I need to show how much I care for you, I need to hear abt your day, I need to know how're you doing over there, I need to tell you goodnight, I need to tell you abt so many things and I just need to tell you that I really really really miss you. ): All my life, I've waited. This is true. <3

The day was wasted away.

2006-06-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

Can you feel the love tonight ? I miss my girlfriend, I miss her. Whines !

I did a new blog for the girlfriend which she does not appreciate.
I read "My Friend, Leonard".
I did housework which was uber tiring.
I got pretty girl boxers from Tom & Stefanie.
I didn't do my tuition homework ):
Christiano Ronaldo's is playing for portugal and his jersey number is SEVENTEEN ! :D
The IM girl from Crescent is more important to Ash. Tsk. =/
And here, I am feeling mentally tired of THIS.
I have the right to be jealous, don't I ?
Out of all the friends, I miss Liane&Mabel only.

Morning.

2006-06-16T14:58:00.000+08:00

Ohh, & the previous entry was a bloody long one lah. I've decided not to go for bio today cause I am tired. Good morning, universe. Now, BIO TYS. Bye !

Happy anniversary to MOM&DAD ! (:

I think the above picture is damn nice lah, I made it myself. Hahahah! The template is cooler with black background, I guess. Oh, & The folks are funny man. They even forgot their own anniversary date. They both only knew when I wished them. Hurhur, & the day was great again with the girlfriend. Okay, I am suffering from MAJOR FLU. The result of Excessive plus intensive making out. TskTsk. It's killing me lah, Goddamnit. ): My boobs are so uneven lah, so annoying. The left one is like UBER HUGE lah, I swear. It disgusts me man. I Like small & undeveloped tits. Presently, they are painful. Let me predict, Cherries will be blossoming in two days' time. Wait and see. There's 2 more minutes for a new day to begin. Good mornight, LoveLove ! :D

I am happy.

2006-06-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

The day went well, indeed. Feeling all tired and sleepy and yet I could not sleep last night, Dreams made me worry. I was paranoid lah. Tossing and turning left and right, went back to sleep again. Then later when sun rises and the alarm goes, Drag myself out of bed. Showered, down to kovan to meet the girlfriend. Yet another day, hahahah! & she comes half an hour late, TskTsk. Ohh, I am always waiting but I don't mind. Haha. Nd, she went back home again to take some work to do cause her band starts at one.

And so, I walked with her. Ohh, and I think your hair's hot lah. Long, Nice, Emo. Hahahah! We can be EMO together together ! Now, that sounded so (fill in adjective). Yupyup. Ltr, walked back to Mac's. She does her english while I read my book. It's an EMO book. (: There was renovation going on at there. The drilling sound annoys the hell out of me. I hate screeching sounds/noises. We could not decide where to go. I suggested Chomp Chomp. Bt she disagreed. The only place left was sengkang, compass point. Oh, and she made me walk from one bus-stop to the other. She insisted on walking to the another one but I insisted I will stay.

Hahahah! And you, ash ! you're such a LOSER lah. Walk till so far bt then you still had to walk back to where I was. Hahahah! It was funny, if you realised. And the girlfriend sits cross-legged when she's studying. Okay, stop commenting. Lunch-ed at Banquet. Seriously, she was so adorable lah. Like "I don't know what to choose" in a whiney voice. Still, both ended up eating chicken rice and the drink was green tea. YAY ! This was the bestest meal I had with her.

We talked alot, I understand her better. She made me love/adore her more. I don't know why, I felt the LOVE today. It were smiles and laughs, :D. The meal was simple but yet a memorable one. I love her. Then, walked ard. And so, I was the model for lingerie today lah. She made me stand at the t-shirt bras' section and then she captures. Oh, bt it was fun. I sure enjoyed it, I was acting retarded. Giving spastic & baring teeth smiles. That is so me, right ? hahahah! Green is like the favourite of many nowadays. It's not unique anymore lah, Tsk. ): Oh wells, I will still love green. Nd, she sends me to sengkang library and she goes for band. I waited for her for four hours. Ain't I such a sweetie pie ? I have got music and the book to keep me occupied. So I wasn't feeling like a LONER. While I read, I had ear plugs. I read, read & read.

Reading can make me forget everything lah. Actually not really, I visited the ladies thrice okay. I was feeling very COLD. Oh man, I was shivering. Okay then, I went back and forth. I didn't tell ash this bt I am writing it down here. I met a new friend today. She's a girl lookig very sweet, nice smile and polite. She's in primary school I guess. She was being mysterious when she saw me at first. Then, she came, sat at the bench near me. I was sitting on the carpented floor. She brought this whole pile of books and stack at the bench. I was like damnit, wht are you trying to do man. Obviously, I did not say it out to her lah. She started laying them out as if there's gonna be a book sale. Hilarious lah. One of her books drop, I picked it up and hand it to her. "thank you", she said. God knows where she went to after tt, she did not seem to be returning back. People were staring at me as if I was not allowing them to sit. Wahlao eh. Nd, I stacked back the books. Yupyup.

I've read half the book already, majorly engrosed. Close it, stood up, Walked out of the library. Esclator-ed down and there she came behind me. I was happy to see her again. I yearned for her bt I chose to ignore tht emotions. If I gave attention to tht emotion/feeling, I know I would miss her really alot. So yeah. Hurhur, she was acting adorable speaking in I don't know wht way. Definitely it was acting extremely baby-ish. Hahahah! She made me feel happy, very happy today. It's just a feeling felt. Well, her pearly soya bean milk was disgusting lah. ALAMAK. The pearls, I'll never forget. (:

I borrowed the girlfriend my book & it's boring to her. Hahahah! She fall asleep lah. How could she man ? TskTsk. Headed to tuition, concentration span was for like 1 hour and I started to yearn for her touch already. I could not concentrate, My eyes felt heavy. I needed sleep, my beautiful sleep. I missed/miss her. Why did she have to go ? Now, I need to rest my eyes. Goodnight, goodbye.