Yet another day with the girlfriend. Okay, the train ride down to kallang was so weird. Practically everyone was staring at me cause I was eating the candy she gave me. The candy kept getting stuck in between my teeth. It was funny in a way, bt I didn't laugh. Cause the commuters will think that I am crazy. Met her at that SPH building, and then off to serangoon central for food :D I think I took so many bus rides today okay, Pfft ): I like it anyway. Haha. Ate at Mac's. She takes uber long to finish a burger okay. TskTsk. Small Kid, that's why. Hahaha. I am not trying to say I am a very grown-up girl though there's only one yr difference between us. Bt still, you're damn small lah. Haha. She went to upsize my meal and not hers ! Idiot you know. Okay lah, I am a fatty lah. If it makes you happy :D Alright then, meal over. Back to that SPH building, her sister happily went back home with her cousin. ALAMAK. The crazy one(ash) got so pissed okay. I am afraid when she gets damn pissed lah. She pulled my hair all okay, it hurt bt then I still laughed. It was downright hilarious. Haha. It's funny how the way she gets pissed at trivial matters. Anyhows, I still love her. And then, another bus ride back to aljunied. We couldn't decide where to go so I suggested Punggol Beach ? Haha. Another bus ride, yet again. We walked till the end. We passed by these three malay young men who were fishing on a saturday evening. Yupyup, and they caught a STINGRAY ! It was actually quite gross, bt yeah it's for consumption. I've ate it before, DUH. And then, one of them was like it has got a baby. Haa, I think it was funny. The way he said it, haha. Okay then, sat at some rocks or whatever you call that.

Ear plugs on, watched the waves as they come in, watch the night fall and stare at the stars hand in hand. All that made me happy. I love the way we are now, with no worries and no cares. I never thought this will be the kind of love I would share with you. Your happiness, my happiness. I miss you, Sweet love.
I will love you more than that, I won't say those words, then take them back. Don't give loneliness a chance. Baby, listen to me when I say "I will love you more than that". There's not a day that passes by. I don't wonder why we haven't tried. It's not too late to change your mind. So take my hand, don't say goodbye. ♥

♥ Sayonara.
10:44 PM





I've been singing the BEST DENKI nowadays. I think I make people laugh out of a broken hearts. Hahaha! I think it's downright hilarious too. I just blend in words which sound japanese and then I just sing whatever that comes to my mind. Furthermore, being TONE DEAF is the funny part. Haha. I sang to her on the phone this morning, and she laughed too. :D School was okay. Double chem was good, did the potassium dichromate VI experiment. He asked us to add one drop of universal indicator bt me being the annoying one added four drops. And, guess what ? My colour turn out so nice okay, it was red ! :D I LIKE okay. Math is getting really boring, I try to keep my eyes awake cause I am falling asleep all the time. Assembly was lefnjknencoijife ! We had briefing for the graduation photo taking. Okay, Xinni scribbled all over my SS notes okay. That butch is so crazy. Haha, ask me what I like and I'll answer "I LIKE PUSSYS !" (WITH EXPRESSIONS ON MY FACE). Hahaha! Sasha fingers are so midget okay. Haha, No offence eh. Like short and fatty bom bom ! She was pulling the hair from my knees, they all are so amazed at my hairy legs. Damnit lah, now everyone will know that I get turned on easily cause I AM GODDAMNIT HAIRY ! Hahaha. There's a saying like "HAIRY PEOPLE ARE HORNY PEOPLE ?!". And yes, SS mock was bad. Really bad, pffft ): I did the twelve mark question and not the thirteen marks one. Like I was blank in my head cause obviously I didn't study. Bt somehow, I feel guilty. TRIPPLE GUILTY ): It's a friday, so the usuals. HabboHotel is so not for me. Haha, It's so horny-fied okay. TskTsk. We saw this really adorable little kid at kovan station. He's so CUTE okay. His name is RAHUL. I swear, i love kids lah. GERAM! :D :D And I saw another one inside the train, his name is SHAM. I know their names cause when I see adorable kids like them, I SHUT UP NOT. So I will be like "What's your name?"- In that ACT SWEET voice. Okay, Now I am off. BYE, BLOG READERS !

♥ Sayonara.
10:10 PM





I AM TIRED MENTALLY.

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
As the cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
That put my friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
What's wrong with this picture?

Farewell the ashtray girl
Forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world
Watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores
To broken centre floor
We know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes it's faded
Disintegrated
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's faded
Assassinated
For fear of growing old

DAMNIT.

♥ Sayonara.
9:16 PM





My last four days were spent with her including today. Haha, bt still I can't get enough of her. Today was a damn tiring day. Oh man, the NEL was out of order. And so, I had to take that stupid bus all the way to sengkang to meet her. The bus ride was so draggy and the bus was super crowded. All so eager to board the bus lah, singaporeans are so annoying okay. TSK ): I sat beside this BIG-SIZED OLD MAN. Okay, he fall asleep on the bus. But ah, his head kept on falling onto my shoulders okay. I felt like making his damn head straight lah. Pffft ): I met her soon, down to her crib. Her sister ah, like to pinch my FATTY FATS at my stomach area. It's so ticklish okay, so funny laaaa. I screamed and screeched so loud. Oh, and I cried for something, I stood there like a small kid and cried. And she can still laugh and kept on repeating the same old words. "Omg, so adorable, so cute". WTH laaaa ? TskTsk. There's a new maid over at her place, haha. SHE OPENED THE ROOM DOOR WHILE WE WERE LYING DOWN ! Damnit, We were shcoked. Thanks ah, ash. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT IS SO IMPORTANT. Hahaha. I had to hurry for tuition soon, my ez link was stucked somewhere around the house. She helped me in the finding of it, thanks ah. And then, I read that long note. Hahaha. I READ IT ! So sweet of her. Thinking of me all, not bad ah. Tuition ended so late, I made it home at ten. Gave her a ring, spoke for a while. And she said this "Bye, Pretty Girl". That was so not her, but yeah she said it. Enough about today, Goodnight :D

I DREAD COMING HOME.

To ease the pain,
I had to stained it red
I won't do it again, I hope I won't.

♥ Sayonara.
11:14 PM





Along the way.

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
Cos even when I fall asleep,
you stay with me, You stay with me.

Stuck inside a broken frame,
Watching as seasons change,
Hoping time will finally set me free,
Suddenly, you're standing there,
A crowded street, a lonely stare,
A thousand miles of traffic in between.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
From the moment that I leave,
you stay with me, You stay with me.

Every letter that you wrote stays with me,
And every promise that I broke, stays with me,
And everything that's left inside, stays with me, It stays with me.

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

♥ Sayonara.
12:20 PM






The end of the road, so near.

The feelings that I hide.
Trapped inside are lies of the past I can't replace.
Memories that linger won't seem to go away.

EFF.

♥ Sayonara.
12:53 PM





So I haven't been in here for awhile. Life's been pretty much the same old routine. I will only be coming online on the weekends cause of distractions. Oh, friday was a day well spent with the girlfriend. At night, we headed down to punggol beach. Hand in hand, we walked looking at PRETTY PRETTY stars thinking about PRETTY PRETTY things. (: Our lips met, I loved the way she tasted, I love the way we speak with our eyes with silence. I loved everything about friday, it was a wonderful evening. Okay, now back to today. I went to watch the musical alone lah. And so, the auditorium was so empty. The musical's so good. Sheila acting as the grandmother was so funny, hahahaha! Her voice and all the accent blending in and all, downright hilarious lah. Hahaha! But her scting skills, power lah. My feet was so painful okay. I walked with pain in my feet for the whole day lah. Damnit. The musical ended soon. After that, I walked around alone till about six. Okay, I know I am such a loner, bt yeah. Went back to the HDB HUB, get dressed in ethnic costume. Guess what, the sales were bad ! Omg, I only managed to sell like two t-shirts and three programme booklets ): ): I was walking around, running here and there. And I swear my feet was killing me. I think I have blisters already. Haha. Many couldn't get in on the first attempt. Pffft ): LIANE AS WELL AS SAM WERE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS LAH ! HOT CHINDIAN & HOT MALAYALEE ! And so, I was standing near the esclator waiting for some generous soul to purchase the t-shirts, I SAW ASH ! OMG, I TELL YOU ! I WAS SHOCKED LAH, seriously. I ran away from her for awhile. And then, when I wanted to find her. She was nowhere to be found, yupyup. So I just went back there and I found new friends. Hahaha! Soon, all were going in. Musical started, I sneaked in for awhile to say hello to random people. Oh, and the first person I saw was G. I said hello and moved away from there. I turned to the exit and I go out. I tried to look for her bt she was nowhere. Haha. And so, I went back to the reception area. Played nonsense games, spoke and laugh with my new friends. Later, during the interval. I went in again, it was full house okay. The auditorium was so lkjwdqojiohnfecibncjd! Oh, I introduce both of them to each other. Yeah, I was happy. :D I was numb after that, my legs were shaking when I was standing around liane's seat. That feeling was terrible, I felt everything acting up again. I told myself, I cannot go back. I can't turn back in time, I will not and I never will. Cause at the end of the day, the one I love is ASH ! :D Sweetheart, I love you. I left the place soon, fetched my cute girl(her sister), walked aimlessly finding for the damn bus stop. My feet is like aching so bad, I tell you I wanna FAINT. Hahaha! I made it home before twelve. Goodnight, World.

It's a saturday and I am in love with ash.
She's my obsession (:
I love her, I love her.
Your kisses never lied.
I miss you, pretty baby.

MY SISTER'S BEING BITCHY ! DAMN HER !

♥ Sayonara.
11:59 PM





It's a BORING sunday. My parents are out, I don't know where they went. Bt I heard my mom saying that she's going to the airport. Probably, I was dreaming cause I was still asleep. Haha, okay my sister has not been coming home lately. It has been five days since I saw her lah. Tsk ): And my stomach cramps are killing me softly cause it's the first day of my period. Pfft ): I have to suffer for another three to four days. Oh, I watched the OC just now on star world. It's the end of season one. Haha. I think the OC song is nice. Maybe I'm amazed or Baby, I'm amazed. I don't know lah but it's really good. Yupyup. My mom is being such an irritant now. So annoying. I haven't been answering her questions lately. I cannot be bothered lah, I am such a letdown. I am on the line with her now. Bye Blog readers !


♥ Sayonara.
3:21 PM





HOHO, BAYBEATS WAS SO FUN !

And how I wished that pretty girl could have been with us ytd. Oh wells, Esplanade was filled with so many malays okay. Malays being so pretty and good-looking, I saw alot of them. Haha. With my people, everything went oh-so well. I loved my company. LOVE ME BUTCH'S MUSIC IS GOOD, DAMN GOOD LAH. And yes, I left early. This means that I missed POPTART. Pfft ): Touched home at twelve. My eyes were half dead, so tired okay. Showered, threw myself on the bed with ear plugs. Haha. On a saturday morning, I woke up feeling lethargic still. Down to kovan to study with the girlfriend. Unfortunately, I couldn't study. I managed to only finish up some really simple sums. That's all for like five hours ? Okay, I better work on my concentration span. That girl is really hardworking. Haha, and her work is really neat and tidy. Okay, enough about that horny bitch. She can't control her temptations for nuts. Goddamnit. Please learn how to behave infront of your sisters lah, Tsk. I am currently stucked to Lips of an angel. Oh, the song's really good. And now, I'm waiting to hear her on the line so that I can go to bed with a peaceful mind. :D

F.

I gave you my heart and so much more.
I've loved you all the same.
Love me like you used to.
I never wanna say goodbye.

♥ Sayonara.
9:44 PM






If you knew how much THIS meant to me.

I am broken, we are broken.
Like strangers, we walk pass each other NOW.
Can't you see, it hurts ?
You are taking it further with you know who.
You choose your feelings over us.
It's hard to be mad at you, pretty girl.
No regrets, later on.
Miss you, Mabes.




♥ Sayonara.
6:01 PM





I miss you, Miss Cheah.

You watch as we leave.
Cause we ended it with a heartbreak.
I lost you, a great friend you were.
It's hard to be angry when somethings are true.
I missed you so bad.
Goodnight, go.

♥ Sayonara.
10:58 PM





I woke up in the morning realising that I have not done my tamil compo. I don't know how I ended up on my bed sleeping. The next thing I know that it's morning. Pfft ): And the laptop was on for the entire night. The least my sister could do is to off it, but no. Inconsiderate, ): Oh wells, school was LOVE today. I kept thinking about her, I couldn't erase that image of her hand from my mind. It keeps rewinding the name that's carve on that wrist. It's hard to accept, It slowly is driving me insane. It played back so many time lah, pffft ): I can't seem to get my heart over it. Driving me up the walls, Tsk. Okay, Bio was practicals yet again. Bt in a way, it's better cause time passes very quickly. (: PE was useful, I vent my anger/emotions by running. We did skipping too. Hahaha. It helped, I felt much better. At least I hoped my other half of the day in school would be happier, but... Nevermind. Alright, Math classes for 5NA is gonna be all mixed up with effect from monday. And so, I've got Mrs Fung ? Okay, Monotone. Accounts and then school was out. It ended with a heartbreak, Unhappiness. I might forgive, Let's just wait and see. Eff everything, for now.

Just hear me out
If it's not perfect I'll perfect it till my heart explodes
I highly doubt
I can make it through another of your episodes
Lashing out
One of the petty moves you pull before you lose control
You wear me out But it's all right now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up making out instead of misery
Beat down and bruised.




♥ Sayonara.
5:58 PM





And so, this is what happens when I remove my password from my blog. Now you people know why, I put password. Yupyup. And so, random people with negative remarks. What do I say about them ? I have made them built so much hatred for me ? Actually, I don't even remember provoking anyone or passing negative remarks about random people. Like, whtever lah. I am not pissed exactly, bt disappointed. Pffft ): Eff the remarks lah. I am not gonna care, my friends will reply for me. Thanks for the tags, friends (:

Dearest (smiles),
Haha, thank you for your comment. (: All the praises belongs to GOD.

Dearest Hater,
I don't know who you are or whtsoever. I don't want to know either. I shall get this straight to the point. You visit my blog, you leave negative remarks about me. FINE. But don't pull my girlfriend into this. You're against me, just diss me. Probably you should think before you give others negative remarks about themselves. Check the dictionary for the meaning of a SLUT. Then maybe your conscience will prick you if you had/have one. I am involved in a GGR, so be it. I am happy with what I'm doing now. It's my choice, it's my life. I would really hope you do not bother about me, whtever I'm doing and whoever I am involved with anymore. You don't have to be sorry. Try to define yourself, you won't know who you are. Don't try to control others. Let go and let them be. Maybe some self-reflection would be useful. You can lead a better life, I am sure. (:

♥ Sayonara.
10:58 PM






Don't turn away.

When it's all said and done, it gets hard but it won't take away my love.
I hope you'd stay. (:





♥ Sayonara.
10:44 PM






Beautiful Love.
Happy 4th, Sweetheart.

♥ Sayonara.
11:59 PM





What a beautiful smile, can stay for a while.

What makes us happy and upset ? A whole list of things that makes me happy, I wrote down. Unhappiness fills in too, but I don't want to think about them. And so, reminiscing does not make me happy anymore. Hur, forget it. I am not gonna dwell on the unpleasant past anymore. (: Life can be such a burden at times, pfft ): And today's dark clouds was a test for all of us. It looked like the world was coming to an end. School was out, finally. People and their unhappiness.

Samantha,
I hope everything's gonna be alright ? Don't worry too much (: Let her know abt your feelings. She's sensible to enough to be a listening ear. Cheer up :D

Claudia,
It has been long since I spoke to you. We all are here for you especially at this moment when you're going through so much. Remember, you're never alone. Life will be better for you soon, have faith. (:

♥

♥ Sayonara.
10:41 PM





Dearest Eleven,
You hoped I read your note for me. Yes, I read. Probably I jumped into conclusions too quickly. I thought you hated me and I still think you do. But nevermind, It's normal. I am not against you or whtsoever. Insecurities, I can't help them from occuring to me. You helped her alot, I know. Thanks a million, It has always been appreciated. I am just paranoid lah. The least I could do is to apologise. I am very sorry and I mean it. The hurt you are feeling now won't disappear overnight, bt still I am really sorry. (:

♥ Sayonara.
10:28 PM






















She makes me smile :D

♥ Sayonara.
8:08 PM





A sucker, I am.
I feel fuked-up.
So many things running through my mind.
I cry at evrything that reminds me of you.
No one seems to care, not evem you.
I can't even rely on you.
Your ex girlfriend is so unfair.
She's so mean, she's so mean, she's so mean.
I became a laughing stock to her.
Am I too vulnerable ?
I told my heart, I didn't want you
But I lied.
I am still tolerant of everything
I am still tolerant.
I am holding on to everything still.
My feelings are here, still strong
My eyes are tired.
I crumble.
Thanks for acted like you cared
and making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
and letting me know we are done.




♥ Sayonara.
6:43 PM





Okay, I felt very much better after blogging just now. Oh wells, I spent my whole day crying my eyeballs out. My eyes still feels tired, pffft ): Understand me please, will you ? Gabriella from high school musical is so pretty. Drop dead gorgeous, I tell you. And I think Samantha Marie Cheong Shui Xian can be one of the girls acting in high school musical. Hahaha. I actually did a little of studying today. But I still need to catch up, Tsk ): Tmr is O level MT orals, I'm prepared NOT. I don't know how to handle conversations. Probably english words will blend in too. I just realised O level is a small step in life but it will bring you to greater heights in life. :D

This could be the start
of something new
It feels so right
to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new.

♥ Sayonara.
7:52 PM





I cried to sleep last night, I literally cried. It's tearing me apart and I've already fallen apart. It seems like it was my fault for loving you, it's my fault for getting hurt. It was all my fault. You don't seem to care, you do not care how I feel. Probably you care but you don't show it. All that matters to you is to attract other girls. I don't see the point in you doing this. You make me feel affected all the time and then it becomes my fault again. I can't always seem to call on you, wait for you, care for you, respect you, give in to you and tolerate all your nonsense. I knew all along I will feel the pain kicking in time and time again but I ignored that emotion and live a bloody facade. And this has to stop cause I can't take it anymore. You take me lightly, you so DO NOT take me seriously. I played the game by all the rules. You're dominant, so be it. You're possesive, so be it. Your vulgarities, so be it. Your hurt me physically, so be it. I tried to make you feel that this is not right and it's unbecoming of you, bt I failed once again. I tried to care, bt I felt tt I was taking control. Your pride was stronger than all these little things. You made me feel like a LOSER at times, nevermind I said. I am sadder but I am wiser too. You get lectures from your parents, it's my fault. I take all the blame, so be it. You always made me feel like a FUCKIN' SLUT, I gave my whole soul, body and mind to you. You never respected my dignity, NEVER.

♥ Sayonara.
12:50 PM







♥ Sayonara.
1:29 PM





PORTUGAL ALL THE

WAY ! :D :D :D

Baby,
All the best for your run later. Please Please don't carry on if you are really exhausted. Don't act like hero all okay. Haha. Anyhows, I miss you. I fucking miss you lah. TskTsk. Spend more time with me, please ? I feel rejected and neglected all the time. Don't tell me it's over cause I am not gonna let it happen. & I love you, I love you. 1217, hearts (: I need you to need me, I want you to want me.

♥ Sayonara.
2:17 AM